Marriage Counselling
by Delancey Delacroix
Summary: Some couples just need that extra help to avoid murdering each other in their sleep. Of course, the stakes are higher if they're the rulers of Vesuvia. Read about the entertaining complaints of the Count and Countess as they try and navigate married life together. Everything's totally going to be fine. Unless of course, everything goes terribly wrong.
1. Chapter 1

_Knock knock.  
_  
"Mhrm."

 _Knock knock.  
_  
"More puppies?" he mumbled in his sleep.

 _Knock knock knock.  
_  
"Five more minutes, Pasha," he begged.

 _Bang bang bang!  
_  
Doctor Julian Devorak flew from the couch and landed in an unceremonious heap on the carpeted floor. He flopped helplessly in his cocoon of blankets, knocking down his bag of medical supplies, and jerking Asra awake.

" _Whuzhappenin'_?" He gasped. His arms tightened instinctively around Kate as she sat up with a start.

"Noise where? Fire?" Her hair was adorably mussed up, and her eyes were still closed.

"No!" Julian called out dramatically. "Even worse. Asra, Faust has grown and is trying to squeeze me—to death this time. I can't breathe. Help!" He flailed even more. The accused snake innocently peeked out from underneath the stove and went back to sleep.

Asra gently patted Kate on the head and rose to help Julian out. He chuckled gently at the sight that greeted him: a mass of blankets that had managed to trap their guest in a cocoon of cloth and medical supplies. He looked like a freshly wrapped mummy. Seeing the highly esteemed Doctor Devorak doing _The Worm_ across his carpet only made him laugh harder.

"Ilya, what have you gotten yourself into this time?" he teased. He bent down to untangle Julian from the mess he'd made, keeping a close eye on Kate as he did so. She was wide awake now, and able to successfully string words together into sentences. She slowly approached them and smiled softly at the state Julian was in.

"I'll see who's been trying to bring our door down," she said, unable to resist dipping a hand into Asra's soft hair. Asra's gaze followed her until the she disappeared down the stairs. One of Julian's well-groomed eyebrows rose to attention. He batted his eyelashes and grinned from ear to ear in the charming way only Julian could pull off.

"So…" he started. "The Master and his Apprentice, huh?"

"She's not my apprentice, and I am not her master," Asra said carefully, as Julian was freed from the torso up. "We're partners. Equals. She's technically the shop's owner. That whole apprentice thing just started because of a…" he gulped, looking for the right word, "…misunderstanding. With the um… neighbours... that one night." He thought about it for a while. "Well, _nights_ actually…" Asra trailed off, blushing so openly that it showed on his golden-brown skin. He kept his eyes trained on the floor as he picked up any medical supplies that didn't need to be sterilized again and threw them into Julian's medical bag.

Confusion scrunched up Julian's beautiful eyebrows. Then his eyes widened in understanding. His mouth dropped open in disbelief right before he clapped Asra respectfully on the shoulder. "You sly fox, you…"

"It's not what you think!" Asra defended. "We were just—"

Julian raised one cocky eyebrow.

"We were playing—"

Julian smirked and wagged his eyebrows.

"Fine," Asra huffed. "Don't believe me. Make an ass out of yourself. Just… don't drag me in it."

"Oh my sweet, Asra…" Julian resumed packing up his medical bag and placed the folded blankets neatly on the couch. "I would _love_ to drag your ass someplace special."

Asra was saved from responding when the sound of glass breaking and raised voices came from downstairs. Kate, his heart tightened at the thought of anything bad happening to her. Without a second glance at Julian, Asra rushed down the stairs and collided with a fuming magician.

His hands automatically went to her shoulders to steady their pacing before they tumbled down the staircase. He took in the purple flame blazing in her otherwise warm, brown eyes; her ragged breathing; and the stiff set of her entire body. His heart melted into his toes in relief. She was mad at something, but safe. He could work with that.

He felt Julian pause behind him, before deciding to give them both some privacy and investigate what was going on downstairs.

"You're okay—"

"I was just about to get you—"

They spoke at the same time. Asra chuckled softly, wrapped his arms around her waist to bring her body flush against his and bent down until their foreheads were touching. "Deep breaths Kate," he instructed softly. "Close your eyes and breathe."

She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths until her breathing calmed down. Her hands moved up to rest over Asra's chest, taking in the calming beat of his heart. She opened her eyes and looked up at him. The fire had abated, leaving him to stare at the mesmerizing brown left behind. He smiled and kissed her on the forehead. "That's much better. Why don't we go down and see what all that commotion was about, hm?" He started walking back down the stairs, entwining Kate's hand in his.

"The moment I opened the door, they just barged in," she explained hastily, taking the steps two at a time. "They completely ignored me and were bickering like a pair of two-year olds on the playground. He accidentally knocked down a vile of your favorite belladonna smelling salts and started complaining about how small and shabby the shop was and—"

Asra stopped abruptly. They'd reached the foot of the stairs. She didn't anticipate his change of pace and bumped into him from behind. "They?" he asked. "Who's they?"

Before she could answer, Julian brushed back the curtains leading to the back room. "Asra, the Count and Countess of Vesuvia are here to see you."


	2. Chapter 2

"You are a selfish, narcissistic goat!"

"Darling, you've seen me in my birthday suit. I am definitely as far away from a goat as possible."

"That's coming from the man who ordered a few dozen mermaidy goat statues to replace the elegant Greek figurines in the palace garden!"

"Those figurines were ridiculously outdated."

"And those goat statues are excessively tacky!"

"You watch your tone with me, Noddy. I am still the Count."

"What are you going to do, eyeliner me to death?"

The Count released an outraged gasp. "You said it made me look sophisticated!"

The Countess crossed her arms and sat back regally on the wooden chair. "Do you recall the time I told you Chandra never touched your albino mice?"

He nodded warily.

"I lied then, too."

The Count clutched his chest dramatically. And wept for his poor albino mice. He cried big, fat, crocodile tears. Asra resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Julian could do so much better. Kate massaged her temples in an attempt to ease the headache slowly developing.

" _I'm having your portrait removed from the Dining Room_ ," Lucio threatened, his voice slowly rising with every word he said.

"What on earth is going on?" Julian sidled up to Asra, looking at the bickering pair the way one would look at an animal with eight heads at the zoo.

" _Oh, you mean the one my sisters gave as a wedding gift? Go right ahead. You have my full support_." Nadia countered him by matching his tone.

"I... I have no idea," he replied.

" _Rightly so!_ " Lucio said. " _You were getting fat; that portrait barely looked like you anymore_."

"Please make it stop," Kate begged, a few seconds shy from banging her hand repeatedly on the wall.

Nadia rose to her full height. " _I have not gotten fat but that's beside the point; we both know the real reason you wear boots with a heel at the bottom. It's to make yourself look taller._ "

" _Lies! I wear these to look well-dressed for my citizens_."

Nadia arched a perfect eyebrow. Her voice went down a few decibels. "Remove them then and let me see your measly attempts to glower down at me."

Lucio rose to his full height too, ready to send another scathing retort.

"Oh for gods' sake!" Kate slammed her hand down on the table, knocking the crystal ball off its holder and sending it rolling in circles across the table. "The Countess is merely a centimetre taller—"

Nadia smiled in triumph.

"—but let's discuss your attitudes." She pointed to both Count and Countess of Vesuvia. "You've both got the maturity level of a pair of two-year old children. You're the rulers of Vesuvia." She leveled them with a purple-flamed glare that made a certain purple-eyed magician proud. "Act like it."

And with that, she snagged the crystal ball off the table, brushed past Asra and Julian—who moved swiftly to avoid her wrath—and stomped up the stairs to cool off.

"So," Asra looked at the properly chastised Count and Countess. "To what do I owe the pleasure of this unexpected visit?"

A few minutes later, and Asra had already thought of twenty-five different things he could be doing—at least 90% of them involved Kate, the bed, and _sleep_ —instead of listening to the Count and Countess talk his ear off with their problems. He distinctly remembered telling them that he was a magician, not a marriage counsellor but apparently, the Countess had a dream that told her going to this shop was the only way to solve her issues with the Count. And unfortunately, that involved using the cards, which were feeling particularly rebellious and would currently speak only to Kate—the powerful magician who didn't like the rulers of Vesuvia very much. He had resorted to extreme measures to get her to cooperate.

"Please Kate," Asra begged in that pleading tone of voice he knew she couldn't resist.

She simply shook her head and continued fingering the cards in mid-air. The crystal ball she'd taken from the back room was also floating between the circle of cards she'd created, showing the scene downstairs from Julian's eyes. It would've been a discreet way to keep track of what was going on, if Julian's eyes didn't keep drooping every few seconds.

"Doctor Devorak, are you listening to me?" Nadia snapped, her voice sounding a bit more haunting, coming from the glass ball.

The arm Julian was resting his head on slid off his knee, sending the sleep-deprived doctor's head falling in mid-air. He woke with a start, and thankfully managed to right himself before the Countess turned her ruby red glare on him. With wide, confused eyes, he said the first thing that came to mind: "Whistle!"

Kate resisted the urge to bring the palm of her hand to her face.

Nadia's mouth opened in indignation. "I beg your pardon?"

"Clean as a whistle!" Julian burst out, nearly stumbling over his words. "My ears are clean as a whistle."

Kate shook her head at the crystal ball in disgust. "I refuse to do anything for them. Just because they're the Count and Countess, doesn't mean they can wake us up in the middle of the night—quite rudely, if you ask me—and expect us to comply with their wishes."

"Then don't do it for them." Asra approached her from behind and slid his arms around her. He pulled her into the warmth of his body and rested his head on her shoulder, gently snuggling into the crook of her neck.

Her hands shook and the cards in mid-air fluttered with excitement.

Goosebumps dotted her skin as she felt his breathy whisper on the sensitive part of her collarbone. "Do it for me." He kissed her collarbone. "Do it for Julian." He kissed her pulse point. "Do it for Faust." He kissed her jaw. She tilted her head to meet his lips, only for him to pull his head back and look at her, amusement shining in his eyes. "Feeling a bit flustered?"

She huffed and turned back to the glass ball. "Your taste in jewellery is appalling!" Nadia was saying.

"It is not! You're just jealous my chest is better than yours!"

Kate looked at Asra pointedly. "You're going to have to up your game if you're using seduction to get me to comply." She didn't see Asra's eyes gleaming in challenge. Oh, he'd show her all right...

Ten minutes later, Asra walked down the stairs with a triumphant grin on his face. He plopped right down on a chair beside Julian, nudging him awake. No sooner had he sat down when Kate peeled open the curtains that separated the back room from the rest of the shop, breathing rather heavily and looking quite flushed. She entered the room and sat down opposite the Count and Countess, the wooden table between them. Asra knew she didn't have to sit down; she loved using the cards while standing. "It makes it easier to speak with them," she'd said once before. Of course, it was quite hard to stand upright and look confident when one's knees were still shaking from... a few activities. But then again, only he would know that. Thank the gods for silencing charms. He knew Kate would never be coerced into anything no matter how good he was at trying to convince her. In the end, the decision was hers to go down and deal with the Count and Countess.

"So you'd like your fortune read." Kate's voice pulled him away from his thoughts. She shuffled the cards as she spoke, using her instincts to guide her to the couple's fate. She placed the cards into three neat piles.

Lucio rolled his eyes. "You've finally decided to bow down to your superiors." Kate's posture stiffened. Her right hand stopped over the pile of cards nearest to Lucio. With a flick of her other hand, the two remaining piles rose from one end of the table to another, forming one pile. She lifted her right hand, palm facing down and all the cards in the remaining pile rose with it. Then she swept her hand across the table. All cards shuffled out of the pile and placed themselves individually on the table face down, in perfectly aligned columns and rows. The cards practically vibrated with power and energy, sending harsh messages to their already frayed auras.

Silence filled the room. Even Lucio seemed to be regretting his outburst. Nadia was observing the magician intently. She admitted that they may have gotten carried away with their arguing and deep down she knew she had deserved to be spoken to the way this young magician did only a few minutes ago. But now, she watched as the magician silently called on the cards' power, her brow furrowing in concentration. Without the use of magic, she looked so sweet and innocent; almost like an apprentice to the great magician, Asra, but once she'd leveled a furious gaze at the Countess and her husband, Nadia knew immediately that she was not a person one would want for an enemy.

 _Bang!  
_  
Everyone but the two magicians jumped in surprise. Julian nearly fell off his chair. The magician had slammed her hand onto the table again but this time for an entirely different reason. The force of the blow made three cards rise higher than the rest before dropping to the table once more. She used both hands and made a lifting motion, which made the three cards rise and face her. The rest joined the single pile on the other side of the table.

"The Lovers," she started. Kate felt Asra's eyes on her. The card to her right flipped itself vertically, showing the Count and Countess its face. "Reversed," she added, before gently allowing the card to land on the table closer to them. "There is too much pride. Too much power between you both. You must learn to control it and combine your two personalities lest all fall into chaos." Lucio opened his mouth to speak but Kate beat him to it, the card's message echoing in her head, refusing to be unheard.

"I am aware your marriage is not one built on romance; it is one of business and arrangements but the card says you both still need to work as a team as the rulers of Vesuvia. Compromise and negotiate. Do not let your pride overshadow your love for this kingdom."

Nadia and Lucio shared a chastised look.

"Judgment upright." The card flipped itself the same way the other card did and followed its path, landing softly beside it. "Let go of your petty squabbles and embrace the opportunities the future holds. Don't become a mourner of the past. What's happened happened and there is no magic that can undo it." The card whispered a tad bit more insistently. Kate withheld from rolling her eyes, unaware that Asra was suddenly sitting perfectly still behind her. "Learn to live with the cards you're dealt." She threw an ' _are you happy now?'_ look at the card before continuing, "And learn from your experiences." 

They were down to the last card. "The Devil." The card turned and slowly made its way towards the Count and Countess, landing on the table, directly in front of Lucio. Kate felt the temperature drop a few degrees. The torches flickered as though disturbed by an unfelt wind. Kate took a few minutes to try and decipher the card's message. It was agitated, though she couldn't understand why. It's voice in her head was murky, as though it was being consumed underwater.

"The Devil?" Lucio said impatiently. "What does it have to say?"

"I'm having difficulty understanding it. Give me a moment."

But the Count had had enough. His hand crept closer to the last card. "I refuse to sit here any longer and listen to your nonsensical rantings! There are portraits to pose for, feasts to arrange. This was a waste of time." He meant to slam his hand down on the last card in a dramatic fashion but the magician beat him to it. Lucio was thrown back by the sheer force of her magic.


	3. Chapter 3

The moment she touched the card, she gasped in shock. The magician rose to her feet, eyes glowing an untamed fiery violet. The hairs on their skin rose as her hair floated above her, as if caught in a current underwater. A mark glowed on top of her right hand—the hand currently touching the card. It was a circle, with a square diamond inside, the two shapes alternating in pattern with a straight line placed vertically in its center, topped with arrow-like ends. It shone like a beacon, blinding everyone who dared look at it directly.

"Trapped." Her voice echoed in the small room—hauntingly beautiful. Her eyes remained unfocused on some unseen object but her gaze locked on Lucio. Asra walked over to her cautiously.

"You are both trapped in an endless cycle of luxury. You will never know the truth that haunts Vesuvia if you remain in your palace, oblivious to the suffering of the townsfolk. You are weighed down by your own suffering, your repressed feelings. They are the chains around your neck, dragging you deeper into the mud." Kate felt the card's anxiety press into her from all sides. Her breaths came in short, panicked gasps. What was happening? The cards had never acted this way before, especially The Devil. It had always radiated a strong, freeing energy that wanted to break out of its bonds and take flight. Now, it seemed... hostile. She couldn't lift her hand from the card and she was dimly aware of something cold slithering across her right arm.

 _Free!_ Faust's voice echoed in her mind. The snake herself had slithered from her spot next to the salamander and was now curling around Asra's and Kate's arms, linking them together, allowing the card's energy to be shared amongst two people. Faust radiated a calming energy that was meant to set their fidgety auras at ease. She squeezed harder, urging Kate to snap out of whatever state she was in.

"Enough." Asra's voice was cold and unyielding. He spoke to the deck directly, letting the remaining cards complete the deck through the sheer force of his glare. The moment The Devil joined the rest of The Arcana, Kate's eyes rolled to the back of her head and she sank into Asra's embrace. Her legs gave out from underneath her, leaving him no choice but to hook his left arm around the back of her knees and his right arm—which Faust was kind enough unwind herself from—to support her neck. Faust anxiously placed her head on Kate's forehead.

 _Cooooooold_ , she told Asra. He was halfway through the curtains when a figure blocked his path.

Julian.

"Allow me to bring her upstairs." All traces of drowsiness had left his voice, replaced with the tone a doctor used when faced with a patient. "Finish things up down here and catch up." He nodded to the Count and Countess. "I'll give her something to stabilize her," he said, noting her rapidly moving eyes and muttered protection spells.

It was only Asra's great trust in his best friend's skills that made him carefully place Kate in Julian's arms and turn around to face the Count and Countess without shaking in fear for her well-being. _She'll be fine_ , he told himself. _Nothing bad will happen to her.  
_  
"What the devil is going on here?" Lucio marched up to Asra and glowered down at him. "Is this all part of the show? To convince us of your fortune telling?"

"Lucio," Nadia warned, completely aware that what had happened was neither a common occurrence nor an act.

"My _dearest_ Count," Asra said with sarcasm and loathing dripping from his voice. He had planned to send them their merry way peacefully but that wasn't happening with this pathetic goat in front of him. "We've allowed you to step into our home and have given you the reading both you and the Countess wanted to receive. We complied with your wishes so I hope you comply with mine: get out."

Lucio was completely appalled at this magician's audacity. He'd excused the outburst from the female magician because he thought she smelled like raspberries on a beautiful spring day. But _this_ magician in front of him was testing his patience. "Now see here, you—"

"Husband!" Nadia interjected. "It's time to leave."

"But—"

Nadia leveled him with her piercing red gaze. "We got what we wanted. They listened to our problems and we listened to their advice. It's best we don't overstay our welcome."

She grabbed hold of Lucio's arm and steered him to the direction of the door. "I hope to see more of you in the future, Asra." The Countess nodded to the magician and he gave her a small smile.

"This isn't over," Lucio spat. "We're going to meet again and by then, you're going to suffer."

"Oh please." Nadia casually threw him out into the street and into the awaiting carriage. "Let me tell you how glad I am about having separate rooms." She winked at him in gratitude and followed her husband into the carriage. Asra didn't wait for them to start moving. He closed the doors, cleaned up the glass the Count had broken when he first entered, gave the back room a once over and ran up the stairs, anxious to see Kate.

Julian was seated on the couch, keeping a close eye on Kate's sleeping form on the bed. Faust was curled around his leg, telling him through her squeezes how happy she was that he'd stabilized Kate. "She's sleeping now," Julian told Asra as he cautiously approached his ' _apprentice_.' "I was able to get her to drink a calming draught that guarantees she'll be knocked out for a couple of hours but her dreams will be peaceful."

"Thank you," Asra whispered, gently tucking a stray piece of hair behind Kate's ear. She smiled in her sleep.

Julian waved a hand in dismissal. "It was nothing." He hesitated. "What... happened down there? I've been the recipient of more than one tarot card reading but that's never happened before."

Asra shrugged. "It was the Count. There's something not quite right about his aura. It was shifty at best. The cards reacted and despite Kate's power over them, The Devil fed off from something's residual energy."

"What does this mean, Asra?"

"It means, Ilya." Asra looked at him directly. "This isn't the last time we'll get to interact with the Count. Something big is coming and I can only hope we will all get through it unscathed."

Sometimes, Julian wished Asra would drop the mysterious air about him and just lay it to him straight. Now was not one of those times. He tried to lighten the mood. "She's going to need some warmth, you know. My draught isn't foolproof. You better give her some extra blankets, a fire, maybe a good cuddling..."

Asra simply smiled at him and softly whispered to Kate, "I can never let you go. I will follow you to the ends of the world and make sure no harm ever comes to you." He kissed her forehead and climbed onto the bed, throwing a few more blankets around them and wrapped his arms around her. "Get some sleep, Ilya. It's going to be a busy day." He kissed Kate on the forehead one more time, chuckling at the way she placed a hand on his chest and threw a leg over him, before laying down beside her and closing his eyes.

Faust retreated back under the stove beside the salamander, leaving Julian to his thoughts. He couldn't help but stare at Asra and Kate, who looked so cozy together, sleeping in each other's arms. He knew he could have what they had too, but his job would never allow it. He was always too busy rushing to those in need, prioritizing everyone else's well-being above his. Maybe someday he'd meet someone who'd make him feel selfish—to finally take the break his entire being just begged him to take; to finally put his need above all others'. Or maybe, he thought as his gaze fell on Kate smiling happily in Asra's arms, he'd already met her.


End file.
